TIME FOR A WHINGE

Years ago (back in the 80's) I did a stint chefing in London. London is awesome, but some aspects of English life leave plenty to be desired. Sure the weather sucks and the food is (was) for the most part boring but one thing that struck me hard was the newspapers. Tabloid rags for the most part. There were exceptions with the likes of The Times, The Independent and The Guardian. But so many like The Sun, The Sunday Sport etc etc were nothing more than crappy gutter tabloids with wildly imaginary or outrageous headlines.

For example, I once scoped a Sunday Sport headline that said....
"Hitler is alive and well and living on the dark side of the moon"
Riiight, sure this was an extreme example and clearly no semi intelligent person would believe it would they....would they? The other that stands out in my memory is the ever amazing headline....
"Freddie Starr ate my Hamster"


It was of course complete bollocks but many people believed it to be true and it serves as a fine example of the crap they did and still do serve up to the English public. So when I see my local rag dishing up headlines like this one....
"Demonised dentists deny dodgy deals"
I seriously cringe, I see a future filled with devoured Gerbils. I mean, has the mining boom turned all of the decent journos into driller offsiders? Are they off chasing the big bucks that come with the resource boom? I know it's often hard to get good service in a Perth restaurant because all the good staff are up north making a killing but have the journos jumped ship as well? Are we doomed to a future filled with 3rd rate journalism? "Ooh aren't I clever I know 5 words that start with D and form one of those long wordy things, you know, um....a sentance, sentence, sentince? Something like that".

Aaaaggghh my left kidney for a decent newspaper. It needs fixing or the print news service is dead. What will we do over breakfast? Talk to our loved ones? Dear god, morning conversation? This cannot be allowed to happen. We need newspapers, save the paper, for the love of god save the paper.
"Maddened Male Murders Mate Over Morning Muesli"
See, I can't find six words that start with m that form a sentence, that's what we need/have journalists for.

Comments

Anonymous said…
you could go back to uni and study journalism -Reb.
Stu said…
no money inh it, better off in the mines ;)
Gregoryno6 said…
The Weekly World News used to run the most ridiculous stories around - Alien Gives High School Cheerleader Dolphin Baby! - but you paid for it knowing it was all nonsense.
Well, I did anyway.